I am fragile. But I cannot admit this to you. If I paint you a picture, will you go to the dollar store to buy a frame for it and place it above your bed? Will you think of me when you look at the picture? I’m not sure what I will paint for you but it will be something fragile, like me, but since I can’t admit how fragile I am, even to you, it will be in the picture (all of me), in the picture in the frame from the dollar store, above your bed. You will own the most fragile part of me, and maybe you will see this and then again maybe not, but I will paint a picture for you and wrap it up, and place a bow on top, and I will smile when you open it, and I will watch you closely. I could frame it myself of course, which would make it easier for you to put above your bed, as in right away, but if you commit to me, to my picture, even to how fragile I am, my fragility I guess you could say, you’ll see this, or recognize this, right away. Right off I mean. I won't need to explain anything to you, and you’ll find the frame at the dollar store and you'll pound the nail and then that’s where I’ll be. Above your bed. You might forget about me later. I know this. I realize this. The picture I painted for you, I mean. Because mostly, when you hang a picture, it’s to make your walls look pretty and then you forget about it (everything blends in like everybody blends in, given enough time) unless somebody says something, like, Wow, that one is amazing, and Wow, the colors really go with the room. Who painted that? I mean, is it original or a print? It didn’t come with the frame did it? No, they wouldn’t be so crass to say that. But you, when you look at the picture later after somebody else has brought your attention to it – what do you see? What will you see? Maybe I will still live with you -- still be living with you, I mean (present tense, not the future). In your house. Then again maybe I won’t. Pictures last longer than people, and they certainly last longer than the people who paint them. Will you remember how fragile I am? Or how fragile I was, perhaps. If you even saw me at all, when I painted you the picture to begin with. I can give only so much of myself.
To Reach The Green Light At The End Of The Pier
FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES: "We are saving ourselves through the words," says Eleanor, the leading lady of a novel-in-progress. This exploration into the creative process -- which includes plenty of distractions/tangents /thoughts & rants by Eleanor, her Biographer, and selected guest artists -- will continue until Eleanor is certain her story is "right." (But we dare not jump ahead of ourselves.)
There will be the occasional typo (as Eleanor points out), and much of this is intended to be "original draft" -- what comes out of our mouths (heads) first, and then set down in that order. Not all of it will be included in the novel, but all of it is happening in real time.
ELEANOR says: "Please turn the page. Keep reading."
For more of Eleanor and her Biographer -- as well as the work of our many guest artists -- check out the older postings. "Everything is part of the process, and the process is the journey," Eleanor says.