"Apparently one of the horses did something wrong."

His name is Evan and he is with a girl but she is not his girlfriend. The girl's name is Peggy, after her grandmother, who is still very much alive, and this weirds her out, as if she is supposed to grow up and be exactly like the elderly woman who now sits all day watching old movies on AMC. Except that Peggy, the grandmother Peggy, can't stand it when AMC puts on that show called Mad Men. Why do they try to mess with the formula? Peggy asks Peggy one day. You don't need new shows that look like the old movies when you already have the old movies. Even Peggy (the grandmother) calls the movies old, and not classic. Peggy (the granddaughter) is at William's place. William is Evan's older brother. William has given Evan the nickname Goose, for no apparent reason. At least, Evan thinks so, and refuses to answer to it, even if Peggy calls him Goose, and now every other person who spends time in William's apartment calls him Goose as well. William is the eldest by three years. Last week, William gave Evan a loan so Evan could pay his rent. William figures Evan owes him. William loves the Olympics, and he's DVR'd the dressage competition. It's late and he's hungry for a cheeseburger but he wants to watch the horses. He reminds Evan that Evan owes him big-time and gives Evan twenty bucks. Get me one of those ritzy burgers, William says. You owe me big-time, he reminds Evan. Evan says he'll go if Peggy goes with him. Evan doesn't much care for Peggy but he also doesn't much know her. This is the only way he can get back at William, he figures, for making him go out at this time of the night while William sits back in his cozy chair and watches horses jump over fences. It seems like nonsense to Evan, but he doesn't try to understand William any further than it takes to get rent money (if necessary, which has happened just three times in the past year). Evan tells Peggy that he's got some insider information on William. Actually, he whispers this to Peggy as William shouts something at the TV. Apparently one of the horses did something wrong. Peggy is interested, because William is interesting, and maybe one day, she'll throw herself at William's feet and say Take me, take me now. (To set the record straight, Peggy is working on her degree at the community college. Also to set the record straight, Peggy probably spends too much time with her grandmother. And, to set the record straight one final time, Peggy likes the show Mad Men because there's a character named Peggy, and that Peggy is a real go-getter.) Evan and Peggy walk to the restaurant. William has money from who-knows-where (actually, Evan knows where but won't say -- he's saving this information for later -- the nickname Goose is not enough to ruse his gander; he's after bigger game and he'll be ready when the time is right) so he can live close to where the ritzy restaurants are. Evan and Peggy make small talk on the way to the restaurant. What kind of cheese would you like? the man at the bar says. Well, Evan thinks, it has to be white, like the tablecloths in the other room. Something white, he says. The cheese matches the box the burger comes with, and it's now, twenty-five minutes later, that Evan and Peggy are out the door and heading back toward William's apartment. Peggy says, What do you want to tell me about William? Come on. We've come this far and you haven't told me a thing. It's true. Evan has been unusually quiet. Peggy says, Tell me, Goose. And Evan hears her words in slow motion and he has the box with the burger open and he's munching on William's late-night snack because he doesn't want to be rude to Peggy and it's all William's fault anyway. What are you doing? Peggy asks with much surprise and a bit of drama too. She flings her arms in the air and knocks the burger the box the bag everything out of Evan's hands. They both watch as the mess lands. Evan smiles. He's down on one knee and puts the burger back in the box back in the bag and lets it sit there. He looks to Peggy. Somebody will be hungry tonight, he says. Peggy swears she is going to tell William everything, but suddenly she finds this all extremely funny. She kisses Evan, on the lips, when he's standing. They walk away. Several minutes go by and an attractive woman in heels walks up to the discarded burger.

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SEE: The Erin O'Brien Owner's Manual for Human Beings
"Mystery burger deconstruction"
http://erin-obrien.blogspot.com/2008/08/mystery-burger-deconstruction.html
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