To Reach The Green Light At The End Of The Pier
FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES: "We are saving ourselves through the words," says Eleanor, the leading lady of a novel-in-progress. This exploration into the creative process -- which includes plenty of distractions/tangents /thoughts & rants by Eleanor, her Biographer, and selected guest artists -- will continue until Eleanor is certain her story is "right." (But we dare not jump ahead of ourselves.)
There will be the occasional typo (as Eleanor points out), and much of this is intended to be "original draft" -- what comes out of our mouths (heads) first, and then set down in that order. Not all of it will be included in the novel, but all of it is happening in real time.
Friday, August 15, 2008
4:30 a.m. -- 11 drafts leading to a final draft
Final draft: I have yet to hit my groove.
Draft number eight: I am aware of my surroundings, and this frightens me. I am also aware of my potential, and this enlightens me.
Draft number seven: Sometimes I think too much.
Sixth draft: Contemplation is not a waste of time. You can never think too much.
Fifth draft: I am here, and I need to get there -- and, man, I watch the planes fly over from my bedroom window, and I listen to the trains, and man, I -- I am here and I need to get there.
Middle draft, between the fourth and fifth: Some days, I put too much weight on myself and feel that I am letting everyone else down, but then I realize that this is ego talking. Nobody much cares about what it takes for ME to get from there to here. I care about it, of course, but it really doesn't matter much to anybody else. What counts is the "there" and the "here."
Fourth draft: I know what I am capable of, and I am frustrated by that.
Third draft, somewhere after the middle: When I think I'm close, I must prevent myself from stopping, at any cost. When I'm close, I cannot allow myself to sleep. Eating makes me sleepy. I cannot allow myself to eat.
Middle draft: I spend (a lot of) time waiting. Sometimes I wait because I know that the time is not right. Sometimes I wait because I know that I am not right (for the time). Mostly, I wait, confident in the timing -- the time will be right, and I will be ready when the time is right. I know I have not hit my groove, yet. I cannot die today. There is too much work to be done. I cannot die while there is so much work to be done.
Second draft: I feel that I have so much to say, but it's trapped, and the thing is, I am not convinced that it has not been me doing the trapping.
Draft shortly after the first: I feel destined, but that's a really cocky thing to say.
First draft: I have yet to hit my groove.
ELEANOR says: "Please turn the page. Keep reading."
For more of Eleanor and her Biographer -- as well as the work of our many guest artists -- check out the older postings. "Everything is part of the process, and the process is the journey," Eleanor says.