You know how sometimes you feel as though you're in jail or something, but you're completely free at the same time. You can walk outside your door anytime. You can go to the grocery store. You can get somebody to buy you a beer. You can get drunk from your dad's vodka. But you're still in jail, because your head is too full of everything, and you just wish you could erase everything and start over, like becoming new again. Isn't that what rehab is all about?
I like having you visit me, but what's even more important is that you stop back sometime to see how I'm doing. We have 28 days to get this right, says my author, who is also my biographer. He says that if we don't get well again after 28 days, it's no hope. Well, he didn't say it like that. But he feels the same way, with his head so full of things.
Why can't we all become innocent again, and not be cynical and just -- like -- open our eyes? I would like to look one stranger in the eyes today and not say a thing and have that person smile back at me.
That counts you know -- smiles from strangers count. Even just one stranger. I have to remember to open my eyes and stop avoiding -- whatever.
I need to breathe, but there's so much pollution, and I just want to really be free. That's more than being able to walk to the grocery store, or get drunk.
I'll keep saying it to myself all day long: Open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes. Things will be okay. This is only Day Three. Open your eyes.
Hey, did you know that we were banned in Boston? How cool is that?
To Reach The Green Light At The End Of The Pier
FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES: "We are saving ourselves through the words," says Eleanor, the leading lady of a novel-in-progress. This exploration into the creative process -- which includes plenty of distractions/tangents /thoughts & rants by Eleanor, her Biographer, and selected guest artists -- will continue until Eleanor is certain her story is "right." (But we dare not jump ahead of ourselves.)
There will be the occasional typo (as Eleanor points out), and much of this is intended to be "original draft" -- what comes out of our mouths (heads) first, and then set down in that order. Not all of it will be included in the novel, but all of it is happening in real time.
ELEANOR says: "Please turn the page. Keep reading."
For more of Eleanor and her Biographer -- as well as the work of our many guest artists -- check out the older postings. "Everything is part of the process, and the process is the journey," Eleanor says.